[personal profile] jarnsaxa

Chapter 27 Part 1

Another round of beer down, and John and Nic were delighted to see more of their colleagues from the Investigations Department enter the bar.  Nicholas magnanimously paid for their first round once he saw that his crush accompanied the two men and the woman working directly for General Arschloch.  Nic and John soon discovered that the newcomers were also familiar with the case Sue and the two friends were currently investigating, and didn´t mind talking about it - without going into details, of course.

One of their new drinking buddies took care of the next round of drinks, the mood became relaxed, and the topic turned to the recent gossip around Headquarters.

“I heard a good one from a friend of a friend about the subject of your current investigation,” one of the men confided in a low voice, leaning into the group with a leer.  “He went out with a girlfriend of hers, a really hot redhead, but when it came right down to it, he couldn’t get it up!”

Nic almost spilled his beer as he laughed out loud, and Jonsten smirked mischievously.  As an investigations officer, John knew better than to outright believe such stories, but he also knew that most gossip held at least a grain of truth. Then it dawned to him.

“Hey!  Maybe that´s why he´s suddenly interested in guys!” To his alcohol soaked brain, the conclusion was pure genius and absolutely logical.

“Huh?” It took Jonsten considerably longer to remember the name of the other officer, who appeared perplexed. He was quite sure it started with a ‘S’. Or maybe it was a ‘P’?

“E´s wha?” the man beside S-something or P-something slurred, definitely unable to hold his liquor as well as S-some…. the other guy.

In his own boozed state, John suddenly found the whole thing incredibly funny, including the face the drunk man was pulling, and the way he and the not so drunk soldier with the unremembered name looked at each other when John confirmed that he had their target on film making out with another guy.

“Ya tellin me, e´s a fuckn f-“ The drunk one started, but Sue quickly cut him off.

“We shouldn´t discuss this here.” She interrupted with a hiss.

Well, she was right. Gossip or not, it was still a mission. And they were officers of the Investigations Department.  They wouldn´t talk about their jobs in a way that might give away valuable information. They never mentioned names in public.  They didn´t even talk about critical information in public.

So, since they were still in the mood to talk about this, they changed locations.  Along with a few bottles purchased from the bar’s storage room.

After all, they had a lot to speculate about.

Having to admit that this was not just about sex was not making the situation any clearer for Roy.  In fact, it complicated things.  And it was – as unbelievable as it might sound, for a man who knew his way around the bedrooms like Roy did – not a situation Roy was accustomed to.

It was a good thing Ed had not demand that the Colonel answer his younger brother’s question, because he didn’t have the slightest clue how to address it, even now.

However, despite being spared from answering, Ed’s own response to Roy’s silence left the Colonel quite off balance.

At first, the question had hung in the air, no one offering a single word.  Then Al’s eyebrows had risen in surprise.

“It´s complicated, isn´t it?” he asked carefully, his hesitant conclusion. 

Roy had wondered what the youngster was thinking to say that.  Sex was not complicated… as long as one didn´t try to go through all the poses in the book he still held in his hand.  Sex was sex.   

“I know what I´m doing,” Ed quietly assured his brother.

Roy was stunned, though he did an admirable job of hiding it.  He had not expected Ed to say anything at all, so it came as a surprise when the young man did.  And his words...but for the intensity, the tone, he might almost have sounded like a child insisting on being an adult.  What the hell was up with that?

Why didn’t he just say yes, or no, or best of all, I don’t know?   

If Ed was aware of the Colonel’s attitude towards his dates – namely, fuck them and leave them– he should have said so. If he was hoping for more – he should also have said so, so that Roy could have corrected him.

But ‘I know what I’m doing’?  What the fuck was that?

Damn Al, as the boy did not press for clarification, either because he understood Ed’s answer, or because he planned to question Edward further once Roy was out of the door.


Roy damned his own ego for preventing him from asking Ed what he meant, but there was no way that Roy Mustang, Central’s most sought after bachelor, would ask his not-even-official date what he thought  in regards to being his boyfriend or not. Never going to happen. No way in hell.

So now he was left to brood over that strange answer.

Fuck, he felt like an idiot.


Roy really needed to get some sleep.


Nic wasn’t quite sure where they were anymore.  It was a nice place, though for some reason they were all sitting on the carpet in the living room.  The carpet looked kind of familiar.  Maybe this was John’s place.  Hell, Nic was so far gone, it might even have been his own place.

After the first bottle of vodka, the giggling of the Investigations girl didn´t sound so annoying anymore.  It still made Nic grit his teeth, but it was bearable.  Sue however, Nic decided, had the most wonderful and seductive laugh he’d ever heard, and it sent shivers down his spine.

The lovely alchemist, along with the rest of them, became happier as the amount of empty bottles on the floor grew. Unfortunately, she didn´t become more open to Nic’s hints, and still shoved his hand off her knee when he felt bold enough to place it there.

Sheepishly, Nic grimaced.  Beaten by some impotent, gay, pretty upstart.  Just peachy.

“Y’ kno, he´s been makn out with that blond …” he started, only to be interrupted.

“Bitch!” The nameless soldier cursed when half of the bottle the group was currently working its way through went on his clothes as his hammered colleague tried to get a grip on it. 

Nicholas had no idea if it was a curse regarding the situation, or if the man was talking about Mustang’s  ‘friend’.  It didn´t matter, so he just nodded and continued.  “… of ‘is. They were strippn and…”

“And?” Suddenly, he had the attention he wanted, Sue was looking at him. “Did ‘e lose tha bet?” she asked.

The outburst of laugher from the male soldiers under General Arshloch’s command interrupted his answer. 

“So, that bet`s true? For real?” the nameless one asked.  “How much money’s in there?” Damn that guy, he didn´t even talk funny. Much.

His companion made a gagging sound, and for a moment Nic was afraid the guy might puke on the carpet.  Or on John, who was lying on the floor, snoring softly whenever someone poked him. Clearly, the Vodka had been too much.

“Thy wre…?” Ah, if he was able to talk, maybe he wouldn´t be decorating the floor, as long as he didn’t get his hands on the bottle.  Thankfully, it appeared as if his more sober colleague was able to keep it out of the man’s reach.

“They were?” the woman next to Sue repeated the question and leaned forward to claim the bottle herself, taking a big swig out of it. Nic’s eyes went down her slender neck to her alcohol soaked blouse.  Not bad. If Sue wasn’t interested and he got drunk enough to ignore the girl’s voice, maybe he could persuade her to leave with him.  He really needed to get laid, and the rejection by his crush left him frustrated.

“No idea.” He admitted and grimaced at the disappointed faces of the females. Nudging John with his foot, he reported that the photographer hadn´t managed to find a good angle to get a view of the kitchen’s floor. Then he leered at the females.  “But if ya wanna see some fuckn, I can-“

The sudden outburst of laughter from Sue’s friend caught him by surprise.

“Eh? Doesn´t mean ‘e lost the b-b-bed.” What the hell was she so happy about?

He was ignored as the drunken woman fell backwards, trying to catch her breath. It gave Nic a damn good view underneath her skirt, so he didn´t complain at all, just grinned and stared.  Just when he started to wonder why he had not crawled over to her yet – since walking in this state was clearly out of question- she caught herself and rolled onto her side.

Giggling, she managed to get out, “So, y guys ave no clue?”

Nic just nodded dumfounded, not sure what she was getting at. Then the female Alchemist started to giggle as well and he felt out of place.  Definitely missing something here.

“What the fucks so funny?” The man across from him asked, stopping to fight his drunken comrade who was now attempting to crawl over him to get to the bottle.  Attempting, as it looked rather like some weird limb coordination training.

“The regular medical checkups,” Sue said with a lopsided grin, clearly expecting Nic to understand.

He didn´t. Thankfully, Sue’s friend showed him some mercy and elaborated.

“It´s another way to…. Oops.” The mission to straighten herself up failed miserable and the other girl was on her back again. Sadly, her feet on the floor hindered Nic’s view this time. “It’s ‘nother way to tell if he ‘ad any.”

“Huh?” How would a doctor be able to tell such a thing?

“You know, a guy who’s usually very active in bed.” Sue´s voice took on a sultry note and Nic felt disappointed that it was once again their target evoking that reaction.

‘Try to follow her speech, Nic.’ He reprimanded himself. Now, if he were a man who did it with, uhm… how often did that guy do it usually..?  He mentally tried to remember what he heard about Mustang and counted all the girls he knew who had slept with the man… and counted… and counted…

No freaking way…. Even after some minutes of remembering names – and his poor, abused head started to ache – there was no end of the list.  Which did not speak about the quality of the list.  Not a single one of the girls he came up with were the type he would toss off the bed.

Damn, now he was even more jealous.

“… and suddenly goes from hundred down to zero…”  Sue’s voice broke his sulking.

Okay… try to imagine that… Well, he himself hadn´t had any sex for... far too long.  Then he remembered just what ‘zero’ meant and burst out laughing.

He probably would have pitied the guy, if he hadn’t just gone over the mental fucked-by-Mustang-list.   

Instead, he remembered the time after he’d had an accident.  He had broken his right arm, and it was in a cast from fingertip to shoulder.  His left wrist had been strained and bandaged, and hurt like hell to move.  No chance of keeping up that repeated movement he had craved so much after just one week.

He was still embarrassed about what had happened on his eight day of forced abstinence.  His shame had nothing to do with paying one of the girls from Central’s red light district to get him off. It had been an emergency situation and there sure as hell where enough men out there paying streetwalkers without suffering distress over it.  No, what still could send the blood rushing to his cheeks was the fact that he hadn´t even lasted long enough for her to give him the full service he had paid for.

Two minutes, thirty-six seconds.

It had taken her less than three minutes.  His trousers pooled at his ankles, from start to finish, he hadn’t even lasted three damn minutes.

Thankfully, after the cast and bandages where off, his stamina had returned to normal once he was routinely taking care of his needs. He´d done it himself, not daring to embarrass himself in front of a woman again.

And speaking of doing it, or rather not doing it ...

“Guy´s pretty d’spret by now, huh?” Nic drew his conclusion. Maybe that was why he was doing another guy.  Hold up, that didn´t make any sense.  Mustang wouldn´t have a problem picking up some chick, so why was he fooling around with a guy?  Nic decided his alcohol soaked brain wasn’t up to the task of figuring this out, and he gave up with a sigh.

“Bet he´s damn frustrated,” the most sober participant of their drinking party, the nameless guy across from him, said.  He sounded as if he were contemplating something. 

He was.

The girl next to him smirked, before elaborating ‘the plan’ the masterminds of the Interrogation Department had come up with to find out about the bet’s status and to tempt Mustang further.

Nic couldn´t help but grimace when he heard it.

Fine, he couldn´t stand the guy. Without even realizing it, Mustang was interfering with Nic’s love life.  And he’d had more hot women in his bed than Nic could ever hope to.  And yes, the plan was a strange, but somewhat reasonable approach to finding out if the man had had any sex recently.

Nonetheless, this time Nic actually pitied Mustang.


Chapterlist available through tags


I`m curious to know what you think about this one :D It´s not much fun, but there are some valid points in this one ^^ the next chapter is already on the way and will give you something to laugh again :D (I hope ^^°)

I wish all of you a happy holiday! And if I don´t make it till Silvester, a Happy New Year as well!

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